It Didn't Get the Breast of Us

PREFACE:  I am 100% exhausted right now.  I am so excited to talk to you & update you on our day;
however, I can't guarantee that it will always make sense, flow in the current timeline or have the correct grammar or punctuation.  Thanks for the forgiveness.

ALSO: I am having some major technical difficulties tonight.  And, I have no idea why...but it's irritating me to no end.  All the pictures that I took today aren't uploading to my laptop.  I'm going to continue working on it, but until then....here's a verbal recap. 

Well, hey everybody!  I hope you all had a great Friday!  It was an absolutely gorgeous day here in Atlanta.  The temperature when we left the house, heading for Stone Mountain (where the opening ceremony was held & where the walk officially began), was a brisk 39 degrees.  We were all decked out in our team shirts, team hats, and lots & lots of pink!  We had a taxi bring us to the start & ended up having about an hour or so before everything "began" to just walk around and take in all the amazing sights.  I can't even tell you how many times I had to lose the group for a few minutes simply to regain my composure & wipe the tears from my eyes.  It's hard to put in to words the emotions that erupt when music is playing loudly over speakers, signs & banners are flying overhead and all around you are women (and men) walking & singing & dancing with so much pride and joy and exhilaration.  There were women there with short hair like mine, women with long hair in pony tails, and women who were bald, some even with bandanas covering their cold hairless heads.  There were women who had walked this path before and women who, like me, were walking in for the first time - wandering around aimlessly with nowhere to go but 20 miles to cover.  There was, undoubtedly, a buzz in the air that was intoxicating.  You couldn't be there and not be drunk.

The opening ceremony kicked off & there wasn't a dry eye in the house.  Dr. Sheri Phillips, the national spokeswoman for Susan G. Komen, was the hostess of ceremonies and she was incredible!!!  She, herself, is a survivor and a past walker of the 3 Day.  She talked about the many different reasons we all do this walk.  Some walk for ourselves (survivors), some walk for our family members, & some walk for our friends.  All walk for those who've suffered, not only those who have won the battle, but also those who have lost and aren't with us anymore.  Regardless of why we walk, everyone deserves a lifetime and that's why we all were together as the sun came up over Stone Mountain Park this morning. 

Once the walk officially began, we were greeted throughout the day with many cheering sections (2 of which included local elementary schools.  O.M.G.  How adorable were the small children standing out on the street, holding homemade signs of pink ribbons they drew & colored themselves, chanting, "Find A Cure!").  In addition, there were many pit stops set up for us.  There we found port-a-potty's, water & gatorade and many delicious, healthy snacks.  We were set up & didn't have to worry about a thing all day! 

The day is where the meat & potatoes of the story occurred.  It's where we met others on this journey and learned about their stories.  It's where we laughed (and cried) together as a team as we retold our own story.  It's where we hugged strangers, held hands with the walker right next to us & took picture after countless picture of the scenes we were witnessing - just so we could hang on to this feeling of camaraderie in the midst of war.  I am so upset about the picture issue (not downloading to the blog) right now, I can't even focus.  I promise to get this problem resolved just as quickly as I can.  Even if it means downloading one picture at a time.  ugh.

The day wrapped up downtown  (Um, Stone Mountain to downtown Atlanta on foot?!  Anyone who knows this city knows that is bonkers!  And, if you don't...check out a map just to see how much terrain we covered today!  Whew.).  Team Diamond Stone finished feeling sore & pretty pooped.  But so thrilled that Day 1 & the first 20 miles was under our belt.   

We have made it home, had a delicious dinner & have all showered and are winding down the day.  Everyone's tired & worn out - but so thankful to be here together experiencing this amazing event.  Thank YOU for being here with us, too!

Stay tuned.  We’ll be back at this in just a few hours.  Time for some shut eye.

xoxo,
Kim

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.” ― Audrey Hepburn

Do not be afraid of tomorrow; for God is already there.  ~Author Unknown

Break A Leg

The whole team is finally ALL together in Atlanta!  Is it a problem that my cheeks already hurt from laughing & smiling so much? 

Please keep us in your thoughts & prayers tomorrow morning.  Our kickoff is at 8:00 am EST.  It's almost GO TIME, people!!!!  Here we go...

We hope Georgia's on your mind this weekend....

Look at the amazing cupcakes that Melissa brought us!  YUM!

And, my tantra for tomorrow: 

i thank you god for most this amazing

day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees

and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything

which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,

and this is the sun’s birthday; this is the birth

day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay

great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing

breathing any – lifted from the no

of all nothing – human merely being

doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and

now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

ee cummings

Talk to you in 20 miles.

xoxo,
Kim

(Cry)Baby Steps

I am a drug rep in my day job.  (My night & weekend gig is storybook reader/back scratcher/toy train track builder/wagon puller/snack fixer).  I spend my day traveling from one doctor’s office to another in hopes of getting a few minutes in each office to talk about my drugs.  That’s in a perfect world.  Reality is: I spend A LOT of time sitting in waiting rooms.  I don’t know if this happens to other reps or if I’ve just got a face that welcomes the crazy in people, but I have countless stories of odd things that have happened to me in waiting rooms:

·         There was the woman who told me she’s had an “issue” since Katrina. When I asked what she meant by “issue” she got real close to me (read: my personal space), starting taking very deep breaths and asked if I could hear it.  I guess the disturbed look on my face told her that, no, I didn’t hear it.  So, she then started coughing very loudly and asked if I could hear it then.  She was convinced the government had caused it.  But she didn’t care.  If 7 feet of water didn’t do her in, then this “issue” wouldn’t either.  Huh.  I still wonder if it had anything to do with the pack of Marlboro Reds cigarettes she had sticking out of her purse.  Just a guess. (I use “quotes” around the word “issue” here because that’s what she did with her fingers – in the air - every time she said the word “issue” while we were talking).

·         Then there was the young man who, once he found out I have a pain medication, asked if I would like him to “test” out a sample to make sure it really worked.  I almost fell out of my seat laughing at this one.  He did not know what was so funny!?!

·         And, there was today’s scenario:

10/18/11 - This morning I sat down in a waiting room right next to an elderly gentleman who was holding a Reader’s Digest in his hands.  I hadn’t even gotten my laptop out of my bag before he started talking to me. He leaned over & pointed to the front cover of the magazine.  There in large, bold letters was the title, “50 Things Nurses Won’t Tell You.”

He started the conversation with, “They say you’re supposed to get in the bed and lay next to someone who’s dying.  They say that person can feel your affection, even though they’re dying.”  He paused.  When I looked up I immediately noticed a tear rolling down his cheek.  I was stunned and sat in silence.  I didn’t know what in the world to say or do.  (It’s in moments like this that I’m convinced I’m on Candid Camera).  The words he spoke next tore my heart out.  “I wish I knew that before now.  I only held her hand.”  He, again, got quiet.  I knew I had to say something now. 

“Was she your wife?”

“Yep, of 35 years.  I laid up next to her in the bed on Sunday night.  But she died on Tuesday.  And I was just holding her hand then.  Now I wish I never even read that article. Hindsight, huh?”  And he threw the Reader’s Digest across the table on to a stack of other magazines.

“Yes, sir.  We always look back and wish we could change what we did or didn’t do.  You can’t beat yourself up about that.  I bet she knew you were right there with her.  Did she just pass?” 

“Yep.  Almost 2 years now.” <Here’s where I started crying.>

“And let me tell you something.  Don’t ever leave the house mad.  Tell ‘em you love ‘em when you’re leaving and as soon as you get home.  You never know when they might be gone and you can’t say it anymore.”  <Here’s where I started crying harder.>

“Was she sick?”

“Yeah.  She battled the cancer for about 2 years” And as he said those words he touched his chest.  He never said the words breast cancer, but I assumed that’s exactly the evil that took his precious wife of 35 years from him.

“I’ve never had anything like this happen to me in my life before,” he said.  “I mean, I lost my mom & dad and I miss them, but I didn’t have them with me, every day, for 35 years.  Everything I did, she was right there with me.  Now, I’m lost as a goose. (His exact choice of words).  People nowadays don’t know what love is.  My daughter’s boyfriend just told me he loved her. And I asked him, how do you know you love her?  You just met her 6 weeks ago.  You don’t know if you love someone in 6 weeks.”

“Well, I bet you feel lucky to have known love in your life.”

“Oh, yes ma’am, I do.”

“Does your daughter live close by?  Do you get to see her often?”

“Yeah, she’s staying with me right now.”

“Do y’all live close?”

“Yeah, I live up the road in a camper.  I’ve still got my house in Biloxi, but I just can’t go back there.  Everything there is her. It’s all her. And I got nothin. I got nothin anymore.” And more tears fell down his cheeks.

“Well, I bet you’re glad your daughter is around to keep you company.”

“Nah, I think I’d rather be alone. I think I’m going to take me a trip soon.  I got some friends in south Texas.  I think I’m going to take me a trip and just ride off in to the sunset.”

He kinda chuckled when he said that, but there were tears still streaming down his cheeks.  He never spoke again. 

That’s when I got called to the back to check samples & see the Nurse Practitioner. I stood up and asked if I could give him a hug.  He smiled, stood up & hugged me tightly. 

I went about my business for the rest of the day, but couldn’t get that sweet little lonesome man out of my mind.  I’m pretty sure he & I ended up in that office in Vancleave, MS, at the same time this morning for a reason.  I needed to hear what he had to say.

Today’s my birthday.  Today I celebrate 38 years on this planet.  And I’m still learning lessons every single day.  When I was younger those lessons came from my Mom & Dad and textbooks & teachers.  Now that I’m older, the lessons come more inconspicuously.  Nowadays, for me at least, they’re often disguised as small children or elderly folks.  I admit that I am usually running through my day hurrying & trying to get as many things knocked off my “To Do” list as possible.  I’d probably be embarrassed at how many life lessons have presented themselves to me and I just missed them.  Because I had to make another sales call.  Or run one more errand.  Or start another load of laundry.  <Fill in the blank with whatever it is you always rush to do>

You know what gets me, though?  Books by Nicholas Sparks top the best seller list month after month, Lifetime has no shortage of tear-jerker movies about someone who’s been kidnapped, gotten amnesia, fallen off a cliff, lost their identity and then fell in love with the detective who rescued them.  Oprah Winfrey could probably be President of the U.S. if she wanted – based solely on the fact that she’s the queen of “feel good” TV (not to mention, she could easily get our country out of debt with a single check from her account).  And, we have all, at some point in our life, lost someone dear to us.  We are constantly surrounded by reminders of how precious life is, yet we/I still walk out of my house & get in to my car just assuming I will return.  We/I get bothered or frustrated with a family member (what?  NEVER?!) and don’t necessarily end the conversation or phone call with an “I love you” – cause I’ll do that the next time, when I’m not nearly as irritated with them.  We/I get up in the morning, rush like mad to get breakfast fixed, teeth brushed, clothes on & shoes (that match) tied, only to dash out of the house to ensure that everyone gets to school & work on time.  What in the world is “on time” if fitting in a tight hug & a look, in my son’s eyes, that says to them – “You are my world.  I will love you forever. Go have an amazing day!”  I will be the first to admit that I can & need to do better. 

So, here’s my commitment.  I’m starting with baby steps.  Baby steps to being more grateful & appreciative.  Baby steps to being more attentive to the life lessons being presented, possibly inconspicuously, to me every single day.  Baby steps to saying “I love you” every time I walk in or out of the door at my house.  Cause I don’t want to say one day, to a stranger sitting next to me in a doctor’s office, “Hindsight, huh?”

Want to take some baby steps of your own?  Think about it.  And, know that I’ll be thinking of you when I begin my journey in Atlanta on Friday morning. 

xoxo,

Kim 

An Afternoon in the Park

There once was a little boy who wanted to meet God.  He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with Twinkies and a six-pack of root beer and he started on his journey.

When he had gone about three blocks, he met an old woman.  She was sitting in the park just staring at some pigeons.  The boy sat down next to her and opened his suitcase.  He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the old lady looked hungry, so he offered her a Twinkie.  She gratefully accepted it and smiled at him.  Her smile was so pretty that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered her a root beer.  Once again she smiled at him.  The boy was delighted!

They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word.

As it began to grow dark, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to leave.  He turned around, ran back to the old woman and gave her a hug.  She gave him her biggest smile ever.

When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face.

She asked him, “What did you do today that made you so happy?”

He replied, “I had lunch with God.  You know what?  She’s got the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen.”

Meanwhile, the old woman, also radiant with joy, returned to her home.

Her son was stunned by the look of peace on her face and asked, “Mother, what did you do today that made you so happy?”

She replied, “I ate Twinkies in the park with God.  You know, he’s much younger than I expected.”

Dancing Shoes

“Where words fail, music speaks.” - Hans Christian Anderson

Hi, my name is Kim and I am a total music junkie.  I’m shameless when it comes to admitting to my music addiction.  I spend way too much of my disposable income downloading songs on I-tunes.  I still love to make mix CD’s for my friends & myself. I prefer to have control of the radio station selection(s) when I am in the car (whether I am driving or not!).  And, I am embarrassed to admit how many conversations I’ve had with many different people debating the best movie soundtrack (BTW, I’ve got many strong opinions to the answer to that very important question).

You simply can’t argue what a good song can do to a scene in a movie.  It can elevate its emotion & feeling significantly.  Recall these scenes & tell me the songs chosen didn’t make them Oscar-worthy:

Urban Cowboy – When Bud (John Travolta) goes home with Pam (Madolyn Smith Osborne), leaving Sissy (Debra Winger) alone with the mechanical bull & her longneck beer at Gilley’s.  As Bud looks out of Pam’s penthouse window, staring at the Houston skyline, Boz Scaggs’ “Love Look What You’ve Done to Me” is playing in the background.  <Bud, I’ll tell you what love has done to you!  It’s altered your decision-making ability.  You need to leave that tramp’s apartment & book it back to your trailer & Sissy & the tuna casserole your aunt made y’all for dinner.> 

Notting Hill – When Anna (Julia Roberts) leaves town, poor William (Hugh Grant) wanders aimlessly around Notting Hill, looking lost & confused.  Bill Withers’ “Ain’t No Sunshine” lets us know exactly how he’s feeling.  <Thankfully, when Anna returns to town & visits his bookstore, she clears things up by letting him know that she’s just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.>

Love, Actually – When Karen (Emma Thompson) unwraps a CD from her husband, Harry (Alan Rickman) – not the heart pendant necklace like she thought (cause he gave that to his secretary), she gracefully excuses herself from the room to go freshen up.  We next see her crying her eyes out as Joni Mitchell sings, “Both Sides Now.” <There’s just something about a Joni Mitchell song that makes me feel so melancholy.  My heart aches for Karen every time I watch this scene.  Which I have done – over & over – because I own the DVD.  I own the DVD because I love the soundtrack.  It’s an endless cycle, y’all.>

It shouldn’t come as a surprise to you to know that I have already started planning out the soundtrack of my life – just in case a movie is ever made! 

My Life Soundtrack (which is, clearly, going to be a multi-disc set)

Opening Scene – Lovely Day – Bill Withers

It’s my favorite song of all time!  It’s only fitting that my blockbuster starts with it.  I envision myself swaggering down the street (remember John Travolta in Staying Alive?!), nodding my head at all the pretty people I pass along the way.  That’s just an idea.

Grammar School – Let’s Get Physical! – Olivia Newton John

When I was in the 4^th grade, I performed a dance/exercise routine to this song in my school’s (OLL) talent show.  Wearing a bright blue Smurf jogging suit.  And a sweatband around my head.  Need I say more?  Seriously, I can’t make this stuff up. <If you’re having a hard time visualizing this, think back to the final scene of Little Miss Sunshine.  Omit Superfreak and insert Let’s Get Physical!  She was me & I was that short, awkward – but determined – little girl with a sweatband around her head.>

Junior High – Let’s Wait Awhile – Janet Jackson

At the time of king cake parties & junior high dances, when most of my friends were beginning to get experience kissing/making out with boys they were “going with”, I was constantly singing this profound Janet Jackson hit in my head.  There’s was NO WAY I was going to be caught alone in the bathroom with any boy who wanted to stick his tongue down my throat.  I thought it was because Janet told me to wait a while, before it’s too late.  Call me crazy, but I’m thinking there was another HUGE reason I didn’t want or need the same experience that my friends did playing 7 Minutes in Heaven. 

College - <Insert Any Indigo Girls Song Here> - Indigo Girls

During my sophomore year, the Indigo Girls announced that they were coming in concert to USM.  My roommate, Aimee, and I were so excited that we decided to camp out for tickets the night before they went on sale.  We donned our flannel shirts, hiking boots and, even, brought along an acoustic guitar (even though neither of us could play it).  We parked ourselves on the steps outside of the Hub on campus and waited all night.  We were giddy about the possibility of getting front row seats to see the Girls!  Interestingly enough, no one else camped out.  No one else, actually, even bothered showing up to the ticket office the next morning when it opened.  We had our pick of any seat in the house.  It’s a good thing we camped out.  

Meeting Sarah – Hello, I Love You! – The Doors

I knew the very moment I met Sarah that my life was changing forever.  It sounds so completely cliché, but it really was sorta like an out-of-body experience.  One of my college roommates was marrying Sarah’s brother and we were both asked to be bridesmaids in the wedding.  Despite the fact that the bride & groom had been dating since high school, Sarah & I had never met – so we were set to meet at the altar on the night of the rehearsal.  We were introduced & started talking – and talked and talked through the night until 6 a.m. on the wedding day.   It was as if we were old friends reunited and had a lifetime of catching up to do.  I wanted to know everything about her.  And still do.  I am so lucky that I am here and she is here and we’re still talking.

Giving Birth to N&B – I Knew I Loved You (Before I Met You) – Savage Garden

The night before I was scheduled to go home from the hospital after giving birth to N & B, my pediatrician decided to let B spend the night on the jaundice bed for phototherapy to help decrease his bilirubin levels.  If you’re not familiar with this or haven’t seen one recently, these beds now have the light underneath and the newborn lays naked on it.  The baby is then zipped into a little sack (so they don’t move too much or get too cold) but their entire body is on the table and exposed to the light.  So, B’s 5 lb 11 oz squirrel body was zipped in to that contraption for the night.  If you’ve ever met B, it’s probably not hard to fathom how he felt about this decision.  He yelped, he squirmed, he shivered & shook.  That night, as I watched my new precious baby boy fret I lost a small chunk of my sanity.  (It didn’t help that I was already sleep deprived.  Or that my hormones had just taken a nose dive off the reality cliff.)  Nonetheless, I got my C-section stitched-up self out of the bed, pulled a chair up to his table/bed & held his little hand.  I wanted him to know I was there.  I held it all night long.  And, again, didn’t sleep a wink myself.  By the time the sun came up & Sarah woke up from the window-seat bed she had made for herself, she found me still at B’s side, a slobbering, blubbering hot mess.  It was my first dose of the potent elixir: What We Do for Our Children.  These two little creatures had been placed in my arms for the first time just hours before, but I’m pretty sure my heart had been waiting for them my entire life.

Bringing the Twins Home – Help! - The Beatles

Do I really need to explain this song selection?  :-)

Sarah Giving Birth to K – Push It! – Salt & Pepa

Sarah had to be induced in to labor because it was already a week past her due date & K wasn’t in any hurry to join us!  (Which is hilarious because the kid skipped crawling and has been RUNNING his entire life).  Of course I was absolutely elated about having a new baby & was ridiculously excited for him to be here – so I was ready for the induction to “kick in” and labor to begin.  Well, it began alright.  And for 22 hours we labored (Sarah did do most of the work, but I was there, too, you know!).  Finally, between 3 & 4 am, my baby boy entered this world – not because HE wanted to, but because his mommas & amazing doc forced him to join us. 

Today – 1. Jesus Take the Wheel – Carrie Underwood

We have 3 boys under the age of 3.  They’re all the same size – which makes it hard to distinguish who’s who when they’re in the middle of a wrestling match.  They have approximately 1,327 Thomas the Train toys, yet they all want to play with the same one – which causes a lot of wrestling matches.  If Sesame Street is on TV, they elbow each other to get as close to the TV screen as possible – which is a great segue in to a new wrestling match.  If M&M’s are ever dished out, everyone needs to be given the same exact number – or a wrestling match will occur.  They like to race each other up & down the halls in our house.  Running as fast as they can, despite the presence of a wall or door frame or recliner or table.  Someone new taking the lead in this 50 yard dash often leads to a wrestling match.  Do you sense a pattern here?  Hence: I sing to myself, time & time again, “Jesus Take the Wheel.” 

Today – 2. In My Life – The Beatles

I joke a lot about the boys & how chaotic life is these days with 3 this close in age.  But, the truth is: I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I am having a blast!  I fall in to bed each night spent & absolutely exhausted, but with new stories & memories filed away that are usually funnier or sweeter than those from the day before.  There’s never a dull moment and the excitement and noise and clutter and chaos means WE’RE ALIVE AND LIVING!  I really am a better person because of my family.  I smile more.  I have more belly laughs.  I say thank you a lot more.  I think more, especially about being a person they can look up to & admire.  I work harder at being a good partner to Sarah.  I hug tighter & longer.  I love more.  “In My Life” by The Beatles is at the top of my favorite songs list and will undoubtedly be featured in my film.  “There are places I remember/All my life, though some have changed/Some forever, not for better/Some have gone and some remain/All these places have their moments/With lovers and friends I still can recall/Some are dead and some are living/In my life I loved them all.”

I begin my 60 mile journey in exactly one week. I have already surpassed my fundraising goal of $2,300 – THANK YOU!  I already have butterflies in my stomach in anticipation of seeing Cati & Alice and the rest of our team next Thursday night.  I can’t wait to update you all on our adventures & progress over the 3 days.  And, when I return I am pretty sure I’ll have a few new songs to add to my life’s soundtrack.  Thanks for listening!

Xoxo,

Kim

 

A Walk Down Memory Lane

There’s a popular song on country radio right now called “Remind Me” and it’s sung by Brad Paisley & Carrie Underwood.  I’m not a big country music fan; however, I am inclined to stop & listen to this little ditty because of sweet, adorable Carrie.  You see, I feel like I’ve played a big role in her rise to fame & fortune.  I’m pretty sure my many phoned-in votes helped her seal the victory on American Idol.  Anyway, back to the song.  Its premise is a couple singing about how they were in the beginning of their relationship.  “All those things that you used to do/That made me fall in love with you/Remind me, oh, baby, remind me….” From what I gather, their time spent together nowadays isn’t as eventful as it was back then.  But they’d like it to be, therefore they need some reminding.  My guess is that they’re probably not the only people out there who could use reminding about who they used to be.

I took a walk down memory lane myself back in April.  I attended my 20^th high school reunion.  There’s nothing like walking around all night with a name tag that has your picture on it (from 1991, for crying out loud!) to get you thinking about the girl you were back then.  The first question, obviously, was – who told you that hairdo looked good?  Another was - why didn’t anyone introduce you to eyebrow waxing before graduation?  (You can fill in your own questions from here on out.  If you need topics to help spark your own memory/imagination: Spuds McKenzie, tight-rolled Girbaud jeans, tretorn tennis shoes, Bon Jovi, etc.). 

Sorry, I digress.  My reunion was absolutely incredible.  It exceeded all of my expectations.  It was an entire weekend filled with activities for old classmates to gather together, catch up and reminisce.  I laughed so much and so hard that weekend that my stomach literally hurt on Sunday night.  I told & heard stories about growing up in Mandeville that would easily shock & surprise the teenagers growing up there now (we all have many fond memories of hanging out at the one & only McDonald’s – not choosing between the Taco Bell, Burger King, Sonic or Subway parking lots; and sitting at the end of dead-end roads called “Nowhere” – where now there sits one more subdivision;).  Funny how back then it seemed so small – and that’s exactly what we complained about; and, now, it’s so big & built up – and that’s exactly what we complain about.  Huh. 

Again, I digress.  Driving back to Hattiesburg on Sunday evening, after an enjoyable reunion weekend, I found myself still thinking back to those days & about the girl I was back then.  Thinking about how much I have changed.  And, yet, stayed the same. 

I remember feeling so elated on that last day of high school.  I was going to college!  I could finally make my own decisions!  I was moving out of my parent’s house & was going to be living on my own!  I was going to be able to decide if I wanted to go to class or not (and I still probably need to revisit my decision-making ability on that one!).  Funny thing, though, is that I also remember feeling the biggest, kinda-like-butterflies-but-the-nervous-type of pit in my stomach, too.  I remember looking around at the groups of friends I was hugging & smiling with for pictures and seeing faces I had seen daily since I was a little girl.  These were people I had spent every day with since I started kindergarten.  And suddenly, just like that, they weren’t going to be there, every day, anymore.  That scared me.  And saddened me immensely.  How nostalgic, right?  I know it sounds cheesy & silly, but it’s the absolute truth.  Of course, hindsight is 20/20.  I know now that I didn’t know anything then.  But, on that day in May 1991, I thought I knew it all & that precise moment in time was as good as life was going to get.  And I didn’t want it to end.

I was blessed with many strong, solid friendships growing up.  I believed in them more than I believed in anything else.  Because of them I could do anything.  And for them I would do anything. These were people who knew me before I could write cursive.  These were people who filled me in on the action I was missing the summer between 2^nd & 3^rd grade when I had the chicken pox immediately followed by pneumonia.  (Summer vacation?  I think not.)  These were people who knew me when I got 4 demerits in the 4^th grade and thought I might run away from home before telling my mom.  These were people who knew me when I got braces in the 10^th grade (and kept loving me anyway).  These were people who knew me when I got busted in 11^th grade at the same New Year’s Eve party as my parents (What the hell?  I still don’t know how that happened! It clearly wouldn’t have been such a big deal if I hadn’t been caught carrying/chugging a 6-pack of Miller Genuine Draft and puffing away on a pack of Camel Lights).  As you can tell, we were a bright, hopeful bunch.  We were determined. We were confident.  Seriously, we could have changed the world.  At least that’s what I thought.  And I dared anyone to say or think otherwise! 

So, maybe I have changed.  I’ve got a lot less hair.  My eyebrows are waxed.  My jeans are no longer tight-rolled.  And I don’t think I have any clothing that’s got a dog or beer logo on it.  But, one way I have remained unchanged is how my heart feels when it comes to my comrades, my amigos, my peeps.  I cherish the friendships in my life.  Especially now as an adult when it’s harder to meet people & make the types of connections on which true friendships are based.   If I am a good friend today, there’s no doubt it’s because of the “teachers” I’ve had before now.  Thank you, each & every one of you.

So, whether it’s a country song on the radio or a reunion of old classmates, every now and then it’s nice to get that wake up call, to look at life through a new set of eyes – or maybe an old set – to remember who you were, one day a long time ago, and appreciate the gal you are today.  If for no other reason than to sanctify memory. 

”Women agonize... over cancer; we take as a personal threat the lump in every friend's breast.”  ~Martha Weinman Lear

 

Xoxo,
Kim

PS – Who said we didn’t know a lot when we were young?  Why do we assume wisdom has to come with age?

A group of professionals posed this question to a group of 4-8-year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all even when his hands got arthritis, too. That's Love."  Rebecca - age 8

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."  Billy - age 4

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French Fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."  Danny - age 7

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."
Nikka - age 6

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."  Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."  Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."  Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."  Mary Ann - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."  Karen - age 7

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."  Jessica - age 8