Did you know that I have FIVE brothers? Yep. You don’t know some of them, and quite frankly, neither do I. It’s all a post for another day (maybe when the theme is “What the hell is up with that?”). But meanwhile, I can introduce you to three of those brothers and the life lessons they have taught me.
Charlie. If you know Charlie, then you know at least one funny story about him that includes some sort of mischief or debauchery. I swear, you do. Think about it. I’ll wait….. Aha! You’re laughing right now, aren’t you? You know who’s not laughing? The neighbor who found him sleeping on her porch early one Sunday morning. Or the waiter from the night when Charlie insisted on ordering corn and crab bisque for every single one of our six courses. Or probably any of his high school teachers. Or that police officer. Or the other one. But he makes me laugh. A lot. Charlie has (sort of) calmed his wild ways, but he still has an enviable “it’s all going to be okay” attitude. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Realize that yeah, that last red bull and vodka was probably overkill, but whatevs. Charlie has always made me feel better about facing challenges. It is going to be okay. If you’ve got your peeps, you’ll get through the gross stuff, and you’ll forget about whatever was such a big deal back in the day (case in point: as I write this, Charlie is not still grounded). And he’s always been one of my biggest supporters. He probably should’ve spoken up when I decided to rock the asymmetrical hairdo, but that’s just one of the hazards of unconditional love. People don’t tell you when you look like a jackass. I envy Charlie’s ability to quickly sort out the stuff (and people) that matters and not stress about the nonsense. He is a loyal and successful businessman. He is always there for family and friends. And you should see his abs these days. What the hell? No one our age is supposed to be so in shape. Charlie is smart, funny, loyal, and a great dad. I am lucky to have him as a brother.
My brother Mikey has taught me to appreciate life and not just because he has almost ended mine on numerous occasions. Mikey has always been what one might call adventurous. The day the shrapnel from a pipe bomb crashed through our den window just inches above my head, I had a few other adjectives I might use to describe Mikey. But there’s no denying he tries to live life to the fullest, a life where expectations are mere suggestions and rules are meant to be broken. One of the things I love about Mikey is not that he can do anything he sets his mind to. Rather, it’s that he does everything he sets his mind to (and somehow gets other people to pay for it). He has been a stuntman and a paramedic. He has traveled the world and contemplated becoming a priest. He has been hit by a car, held up at knife point in Mexico, and survived about a year in the hospital with a chronic illness. He has jumped out of countless airplanes and propelled down 20 story buildings. Like on purpose and stuff. He speaks Spanish and has been a translator for numerous medical mission trips. He roasts coffee and is already an accomplished photographer after taking up the hobby a couple of years ago. You know what I did today? Took a shower and folded some laundry. Mikey’s adventurous spirit and individuality inspire me. They don’t inspire me to jump off of anything besides the couch, mind you, but it’s hard to think of Mikey and think “I can’t.” Mikey is talented, passionate, adventurous, and unafraid. I am grateful that he is my brother.
Tanner’s mom married my father out of the kindness of her heart about 12 years ago. The next year, one of the funniest dudes on Earth was born. I don’t know if it’s because his mom is funny and my dad is, well, my dad (again, another post for another day, perhaps when the theme is “Cocktails at Kindergarten”) or if, as my aunt believes, he was sent here by our grandmother Eloise Tanner Stanton (Othermom) who passed away shortly before Tanner was born—to keep us laughing. Either way, I’m thankful Dad kept procreating long past what is appropriate for someone his age. Tanner collects deadly exotic creatures like scorpions, snakes, and spiders. And he knows all there is to know about said creatures. In fact, he knows a lot about a lot of things. He’s wicked smart. I think his first words were, “That’s a lovely chandelier.” Don’t even think of challenging him to Wii Tennis. Mikey and I made that mistake once. We were up past 3 in the morning trying to beat Tanner. He doesn’t even have to look at the screen. I think he was making himself a grilled cheese at the same time, blindly lobbing the ball past us. Eventually he was begging to go to bed, and we were sweating and cursing and demanding “one more game!” I couldn’t lift my arms for 2 days, and my dignity has yet to recover. Tanner is even more accomplished in Tae Kwon Do. He goes up against kids much bigger and much older than he is and not only kicks a few asses, but maintains his composure and focus at all costs. For those of you who don’t know the Stantons, this is HUGE. Most important to this sister is his willingness to take a stand when it matters…and his love of pizza. He recently sent around a petition at his school, hoping to replace Domino’s with Pizza Hut as the pizza vendor of choice. Here’s his petition with his classmates’ signichers [sic]:
By all accounts, his activism is paying off. The students of The Joy School in Houston, TX are soon to be liberated from the chains of gross pizza. Tanner is sensitive, dedicated, compassionate, and a very authentic guy. Thank you Baby Jesus (or Othermom) for sending him to us.
The Cleavers we ain’t. But that’s the best part. I love my irreverent, wildly different, hilarious brothers. I will gladly sit at the kids’ table with them for as long as they’ll let me.
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